Today I received this comment on my blog:
I have no problem with people not wanting to read this blog any more. I have a baby - I am where many, many people who started to read this blog want to be. I've reached the finish line.
I fully expected people to stop reading. I wrote about that here way before I even got pregnant.
But you don't need to tell me! What possible motivation do you have for leaving such a snide, bitchy little comment?
You'll notice that the number of posts I write has dropped off dramatically. Partly this is because I am too tired and my free time is too limited to write but also I find myself hovering over the publish button. Is it too much? Do my readers really want to hear more ramblings about the joys - and sometimes the lows - of being a mummy? So another post goes unpublished.
And let's be clear: when I was trying to get pregnant I had lots of other things going on in my life other than infertility. I didn't write about it because that wasn't the nature of this blog. Now I have less going on - things do revolve around my baby, I am on maternity leave and I have to look after her 24 hours a day but that doesn't mean that I have "no other thoughts than baby", but they are what I choose to write about.
But don't worry I will have plenty to think about in 18 years.
In 18 years I will still be thinking about my daughter, in 26 years I will still be thinking about her, in 37 I will still be thinking of her. But not exclusively. I am sure I will still have other things to do and think about, as I did before her and I do still now.
Do you know what I think would be worse than writing about my daughter? If I continued to write blog posts that whined about being infertile. About how mothers who got pregnant easily can't relate to my "struggle". How I am still infertile even though I have a baby and people should understand that having a child doesn't wipe away the years of hurt. (It does by the way - there is still a small stain but so much of the pain of the last seven years has been eradicated - and I'm telling you that as encouragement not to boast).
I once read a post on another blog - again way before I got pregnant - in which the new mother asserted that infertiles loved their babies more than people who got pregnant easily. This is utter, utter horseshit. That made me stop reading the blog in question (and I just stopped; I didn't comment). The only discernible difference I have noticed between mothers who found it easy to get pregnant and those who didn't is some (SOME!) will talk more readily about when they want to get pregnant again to get the perfect age gap between their children.
So dear readers, who have supported me and seen me through the very lowest of times - thank you. If you choose to move on I totally get it.
I have in the past.
But don't tell me!
Right, maybe I'll go back and publish some of those written but unpublished posts.